To the girl who’s feeling self conscious

I haven’t blogged in so long, mainly because Instagram is easier. Everyone wants to see a pic with a little caption that they can read under 30 seconds. But maybe Instagram is the problem, we all want everything now. We want what everyone else has got. We spend our time comparing ourselves.

Over the last week, I’ve had conversations with two girls close to me about how they’re feeling. Insecure. Self conscious. Anxious. Hypocritical.

Insecure about the way they look.

Self conscious about their bodies.

Anxious because they’re falling in to old habits and thinking patterns.

And hypocritical because they work in the same industry as me and are trying to spread the message of being a strong female and loving yourself and aren’t feeling that way themselves.

Neither of these girls should feel this way. Hell no . No fucking woman should feel this way ever and it breaks my heart to think of them being so self critical. But I can’t blame them for feeling shit because I can see how they’ve got to this point. There’s so much pressure on us, you need to have a big butt ( but not with dimples), a small waist ( but not so small we can see ribs), a toned muscular figure ( but not too muscly or you’ll be considered manly).

But what creates this pressure, instagram ? Influencers who have body dysmorphia and are pouring it back in to the world and recycling hatred? ( Jameela Jamil quote on the Kardashian’s which I fucking love) The patriarchy ? Because let’s be honest it’s easier to keep women in check if we all feel shit about ourselves. (Also I can’t help but believe that the ‘ideal’ body is based on what a man wants).

If you asked any woman the following question I’m sure 99% would give a similar answer :

If there were no societal pressures at all, what would your ideal body be?

Answer: as long as I am in good health, I’d be happy with the body I have because no one would be judging me.

What would your answer be? reallllyyy think about it.

You might not be able to avoid these societal pressure completely. But you can make it easier for yourself . Instagram Detox. Unfollow people that make you feel like crap. Become a more critical viewer of social media and its messages, think about what you are consuming and make necessary adjustments.

Also ask yourself; are you putting all this pressure on yourself? Start shutting down the voices which tell you, you aren’t good enough. Silence that inner critic. Start talking to yourself like you would a friend.

No one is expecting you to love your body over night, trust me it takes a lonngggg time, but body acceptance is the first step.

What does your body do for you that you love?

What is your body privileged enough to be able to do that other people’s can’t?

What do you honestly think would improve in your life stopped hating on your body so much?

I spent so many years of my life condemned in a prison of hating my body. Until I wasn’t prepared to waste any more time doing so. And honestly giving up that hatred made me feel so free. And if you’re reading this I want you to feel the same.

We are the children and grandchildren of the women who grew up in diet culture who were taught to hate their bodies. But this stops here. We can’t pass this on to the next generation. For the sake of womankind. THIS NEEDS TO STOP.

Because you are more than your body. You already are enough .

Love Sian x

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